![]() Address the physiological experience of anxiety, fear, anger, or grief first before assuming your child is deliberately being naughty. Much of the behavior of kids with sensory issues is rooted in a primitive fight-or-flight response to distressing sensory stimulation and confusing sensory processing activity in the brain. The sensation of having her hair in a ponytail or cornrows may make her cry in pain or completely distracted and irritable. A child who is defiant may not feel able to meet social expectations given what's going on in her body. What you think of as a mildly unpleasant sound may actually make him sick to his stomach, causing him to be grumpy and rude. Remember, your child's sensory processing of everyday sensations is quite different from most people's. ![]() Ask more questions if you don't understand. If you ask your child, "What is happening in your body right now?" and "What do you need to do?" will your child have an answer? Whether it's "I feel jumpy and I need to move" or "I feel mad and I want to crawl behind the couch and rock," listen carefully. Starting with curiosity and sensory smarts will help you to guide your child into developing self-regulation skills and sensory smarts. I'm a loser." That identification with failure is very difficult to peel back. If you expect too much from him, he can become overwhelmed, shut down, and start to identify with failure: "I guess I'm just a bad kid. ![]() Start with curiosity about the behavior and meet the child where he is so you can take him where he needs to go. What does work is to teach children to be aware of their body's state of being (tense? agitated? low energy? etc.) and what to do to change it so they can behave appropriately. How to Explain Sensory Processing Disorder to Family and Friends Over the years, as an advocate for children with sensory issues, I have heard thousands of parents share what does and doesn’t work for their kids. ![]()
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